I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize