we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
