you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
