You really coming over, don't trick.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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