Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
