Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
