I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
