im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
