the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
