I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
