Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
