Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
