My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
