as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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