i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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