remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
