maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
