Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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