Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
