I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pants are for mortals
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
