I don't remember. Are we still dating?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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