i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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