i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
