i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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