her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
