Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
