did you get engaged???
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
