Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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