I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize