new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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