you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We are two peas in an std pod
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
