And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
