i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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