and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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