Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
