we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
