I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
