If that was your dad, he is hot
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
