How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
