i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Panties = found
Randomize
