I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
