Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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