I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
