is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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