Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
