last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
