...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
