your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
