It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
