omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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