Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
