He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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