marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
