$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
