You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
