I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize