There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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