i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
