Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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