More tranny stories later!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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