I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
