Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
