I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
