dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize