I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
