My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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