For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
