I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
