Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
