Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
