Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
